If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
