You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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