Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
