The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I will be naked everywhere
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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