Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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