Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
