"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
