I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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