Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
