Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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