The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
