Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
