I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
