I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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