I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
