I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
