So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
