Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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