Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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