bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
