we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
