he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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