this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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