I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
