No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
