is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
