We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
