The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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