You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
