I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize