Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just want to make out with him forever
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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