so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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