I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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