There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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