ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
