i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
