I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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