you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
