it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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