there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
