shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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