Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
