Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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