Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do vagina's smell?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
