Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
