I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
