Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
"it" just moved
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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