News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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