ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this just has baby written all over it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
