He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
