one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Panties = found
Randomize
