I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
