Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't deserve a penis
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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