try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
