I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
