We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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