Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
