Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
